 |
| Freedom is NEVER free! |
Thanks to the families that have an empty seat at their tables so I am free to say grace at mine.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Memorial Day Monday
Monday, May 23, 2011
Made to Crave Mondays - Chapter 14
Whoa! Where has this Monday gone? What a difference having a little girl at home all day makes, huh? Guess it's still Monday though, so I still have time to sneak in this week's questions for reflection from chapter 14 of Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst.
First of all, WOW! Lysa really shares a part of her wounded past in this chapter and taps into something I'm sure we can all relate to, emotional emptiness. And, if you're like me, you can also relate to that void playing a part in those issues with food and weight.
So, without further ado...let's jump in!
Discussion Questions for Chapter 14
1. "Each time my heart felt a little empty, my stomach picked up on the cues and suggested I feed it instead." Do you feel a similar connection between feelings of emotional emptiness and physical hunger? Do you feel you are able to distinguish between physical hunger and emotionally triggered hunger, or does it all feel the same to you?
Jill's answer: This has absolutely been a pattern for me in the past. Trying to feed my emotional emptiness with physical affection, attention, and, finally, with food. I thought once I had grown as a Christian woman and finally found the most awesome, godly man who became my husband that my desires to look to fill my emotional emptiness with any of these unhealthy things would change. But, not addressing the emotional emptiness meant it was still there demanding to be fed. Christian counseling and growing in many ways has been a huge help in this area. And, just becoming more aware of the times when I tend to feed my emotions instead of my body has been a great tool as well.
2. Lysa describes how she used the phrases of Philippians 4:8 to park her mind in a better spot about the painful relationship with her father. Using the phrases below and Lysa's example as a guide, invite God to give you a better place to park your mind about a painful experience from your own past.
Jill's answers: I'm thinking about my own father who left us a couple days before I started High School.
Whatever is true...Like Lysa's dad, my dad was broken. He was dealing with his own selfishness, lusts, and desires. These broken parts of his character blinded him to the pain he was creating for his three children. It does not excuse his actions to realize this truth. But, it does help me to realize that his leaving had nothing to do with me and everything to do with his own personal flaws and immaturity. I believe my father actually did and does love me. He just became extremely misguided by a series of poor choices and immoral behaviors.
Whatever is noble...When my dad left and refused to see us as important, it made me feel unworthy of love; unworthy of attention; unworthy of affection. But, this is what the King of Kings thinks and feels about me: The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17, NIV) That puts things in a much more NOBLE perspective, don't you think?
Whatever is right...There's one precious memory of my father that I remember providing that feeling that all was right, if not in the world, at least in my family. It made me feel loved and cherished my dad even when other acts or words made me feel differently. I remember those rare days when Dad had wake-up duty. He would come and sit on the edge of my bed and gently rub my legs, feet, or back through the sheets and blankets. And then he would softly say something like, "It's Wednesday! Only two more days after today and then it's the weekend." I still remember the love and affection in his voice as he would whisper that it was time to get up and at 'em. It gives me a warm feeling to this day. One thing I know for sure is that God's love endures forever. That it is always right and it is always real. And, on these mornings so many years ago, my earthly father's love felt as if it was unfailing as well.
Whatever is lovely...On those mornings when Dad came to wake me for school, I felt loved and lovely. I felt a peace and calm that I seldom felt throughout my childhood. I remember wanting to hold on to those moments and not let them go. In fact, some mornings I would pretend to stay asleep a little longer, just so Dad would sit a little longer speaking gently and rubbing my back, helping me to have a lovely entrance into the waking world.
Whatever is admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy...I praise God for the fact that my daughter is growing up with a father who cherishes her and tells her so each and every day. A man who'll never leave her to wonder if she's worthy. A man who helps her learn more of God's love for her as he showers love, affection, and kisses on her sweet little face and life. And, I'm so thankful to see Alyssa form lovely memories not only with her dad, but with mine as well. We don't see my father very often but when we do there's no sign of the man who broke my heart time and time again over the first 20 or so years of my life. What IS there is the Daddy who came to wake me up on those precious early mornings that linger in the video of my mind. There's no yelling, criticizing, or overly zealous physical discipline. There's no screaming at my mom or my older brother. There's just a "Papa" who Alyssa adores and looks forward to spending time with at every opportunity. Especially when he's able to pull gold-dollar coins out of her ear, which is several times at pretty much each meeting. She'll grow up thinking of my dad as a kind, funny, and magical person who lights up when he sees her. And, you know what? I'm not going to do or say ANYTHING to change that impression. It is a part of who he is. It is a part of the "excellent" that God wove into his person from the very beginning. He's done a lot of growing over the years and he's still not perfect. But, I won't tell my daughter any differently. Let her continue to see God in yet another father-figure in her life (along with Jeremy, his dad, my step-dad, and her uncles) who loves her unconditionally. And, PRAISE GOD for that!!!
3. A mosaic is a work of art made up of hundreds or thousands of tiny, broken pieces of glass or ceramic tile. Lysa describes how God's making a mosaic of restoration and healing in her heart, gathering up her broken pieces and making them into something beautiful. Can you imagine God doing something like this in your heart? If God used the broken pieces of your life to make a beautiful image, what do you hope it would look like?
Jill's answer: If God is making a mosaic of restoration and healing of my broken past and forming it (and me) into something beautiful, then I hope it will look like a woman who understands that most people who lash out do so because of their own inner pain and wounded history. I hope it will look like a woman who loves others without strings attached. A woman who would rather serve another human being than find a cheap feeling (usually tied to food) for myself. A woman who fiercely follows God, absolutely cherishes her family, and truly believes she can make an impact on her world in Jesus' name!
So, how would you answer these questions? Please open yourself up to us as much as you feel comfortable doing so. Let us know how God is taking your broken pieces and making a beautiful piece of art out of your life!
First of all, WOW! Lysa really shares a part of her wounded past in this chapter and taps into something I'm sure we can all relate to, emotional emptiness. And, if you're like me, you can also relate to that void playing a part in those issues with food and weight.
So, without further ado...let's jump in!
Discussion Questions for Chapter 14
1. "Each time my heart felt a little empty, my stomach picked up on the cues and suggested I feed it instead." Do you feel a similar connection between feelings of emotional emptiness and physical hunger? Do you feel you are able to distinguish between physical hunger and emotionally triggered hunger, or does it all feel the same to you?
Jill's answer: This has absolutely been a pattern for me in the past. Trying to feed my emotional emptiness with physical affection, attention, and, finally, with food. I thought once I had grown as a Christian woman and finally found the most awesome, godly man who became my husband that my desires to look to fill my emotional emptiness with any of these unhealthy things would change. But, not addressing the emotional emptiness meant it was still there demanding to be fed. Christian counseling and growing in many ways has been a huge help in this area. And, just becoming more aware of the times when I tend to feed my emotions instead of my body has been a great tool as well.
2. Lysa describes how she used the phrases of Philippians 4:8 to park her mind in a better spot about the painful relationship with her father. Using the phrases below and Lysa's example as a guide, invite God to give you a better place to park your mind about a painful experience from your own past.
Jill's answers: I'm thinking about my own father who left us a couple days before I started High School.
Whatever is true...Like Lysa's dad, my dad was broken. He was dealing with his own selfishness, lusts, and desires. These broken parts of his character blinded him to the pain he was creating for his three children. It does not excuse his actions to realize this truth. But, it does help me to realize that his leaving had nothing to do with me and everything to do with his own personal flaws and immaturity. I believe my father actually did and does love me. He just became extremely misguided by a series of poor choices and immoral behaviors.
Whatever is noble...When my dad left and refused to see us as important, it made me feel unworthy of love; unworthy of attention; unworthy of affection. But, this is what the King of Kings thinks and feels about me: The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17, NIV) That puts things in a much more NOBLE perspective, don't you think?
Whatever is right...There's one precious memory of my father that I remember providing that feeling that all was right, if not in the world, at least in my family. It made me feel loved and cherished my dad even when other acts or words made me feel differently. I remember those rare days when Dad had wake-up duty. He would come and sit on the edge of my bed and gently rub my legs, feet, or back through the sheets and blankets. And then he would softly say something like, "It's Wednesday! Only two more days after today and then it's the weekend." I still remember the love and affection in his voice as he would whisper that it was time to get up and at 'em. It gives me a warm feeling to this day. One thing I know for sure is that God's love endures forever. That it is always right and it is always real. And, on these mornings so many years ago, my earthly father's love felt as if it was unfailing as well.
Whatever is lovely...On those mornings when Dad came to wake me for school, I felt loved and lovely. I felt a peace and calm that I seldom felt throughout my childhood. I remember wanting to hold on to those moments and not let them go. In fact, some mornings I would pretend to stay asleep a little longer, just so Dad would sit a little longer speaking gently and rubbing my back, helping me to have a lovely entrance into the waking world.
Whatever is admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy...I praise God for the fact that my daughter is growing up with a father who cherishes her and tells her so each and every day. A man who'll never leave her to wonder if she's worthy. A man who helps her learn more of God's love for her as he showers love, affection, and kisses on her sweet little face and life. And, I'm so thankful to see Alyssa form lovely memories not only with her dad, but with mine as well. We don't see my father very often but when we do there's no sign of the man who broke my heart time and time again over the first 20 or so years of my life. What IS there is the Daddy who came to wake me up on those precious early mornings that linger in the video of my mind. There's no yelling, criticizing, or overly zealous physical discipline. There's no screaming at my mom or my older brother. There's just a "Papa" who Alyssa adores and looks forward to spending time with at every opportunity. Especially when he's able to pull gold-dollar coins out of her ear, which is several times at pretty much each meeting. She'll grow up thinking of my dad as a kind, funny, and magical person who lights up when he sees her. And, you know what? I'm not going to do or say ANYTHING to change that impression. It is a part of who he is. It is a part of the "excellent" that God wove into his person from the very beginning. He's done a lot of growing over the years and he's still not perfect. But, I won't tell my daughter any differently. Let her continue to see God in yet another father-figure in her life (along with Jeremy, his dad, my step-dad, and her uncles) who loves her unconditionally. And, PRAISE GOD for that!!!
3. A mosaic is a work of art made up of hundreds or thousands of tiny, broken pieces of glass or ceramic tile. Lysa describes how God's making a mosaic of restoration and healing in her heart, gathering up her broken pieces and making them into something beautiful. Can you imagine God doing something like this in your heart? If God used the broken pieces of your life to make a beautiful image, what do you hope it would look like?
Jill's answer: If God is making a mosaic of restoration and healing of my broken past and forming it (and me) into something beautiful, then I hope it will look like a woman who understands that most people who lash out do so because of their own inner pain and wounded history. I hope it will look like a woman who loves others without strings attached. A woman who would rather serve another human being than find a cheap feeling (usually tied to food) for myself. A woman who fiercely follows God, absolutely cherishes her family, and truly believes she can make an impact on her world in Jesus' name!
So, how would you answer these questions? Please open yourself up to us as much as you feel comfortable doing so. Let us know how God is taking your broken pieces and making a beautiful piece of art out of your life!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
The winner of Made to Crave and an Update!
And, the winner is...Katie Meskimen! Katie posted about the new thing she's going to try this summer. Here's what she said: I'm going to learn how to be a better blogger so I can get more followers and help other people. That's a great goal, Katie. You'll have to let us know how it goes. In the meantime, let me know your mailing address. Email it to me at jill@wcicfm.org. Congrats! And, thanks to everyone who posted about that New Thing you're going to learn or try. Let's do it...together!
Now for an UPDATE!! As of this morning, I'm down 10.4 pounds! Woo Hoo! I also completed my 10K training for the day and am ready to take on the world! Well, at least my little part of it.
What's the good news on your end of things? Leave a comment with your UPDATE! Can't wait to hear from you.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Made to Crave Mondays - Chapter 13 and a free book!
I'm so glad you've joined me for Made to Crave Monday because I'm excited to not only dig in to the reflection questions for chapter 13 of Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst of Proverbs 31 Ministries, but also to tell you about a new venture in my life. AND to offer you a free copy of Made to Crave. If you don't already have the book, you will LOVE it. And, you'll be able to go back to the first Made to Crave Monday and follow along and add your insights. If you do already have the book, you'll have a copy to give to a girlfriend, a sister, or your mom so you'll have someone to go through the book with you and join you on this journey to good health. First I want to tell about my "new thing", THEN I'll tell you how you can win the book. Deal Camille?
New Thing
If you had a chance to read last Friday's blog post, then you'll remember me talking about how I want to have fun learning new things in life. And, this week I'm doing TWO new things. I'd mentioned yesterday that I was going to stick my toes into the huge pool that is couponing. I'm meeting with some friends Thursday to learn their shop-savvy ways. That's thing one (Yes, that is a shout out to Dr. Seuss!). Thing two...against my brain's better judgment, I have committed to running a 10K this fall in Morton. A...T E N...K! I began the long training process today that will (hopefully) prepare my body to run over SIX MILES! And, as you see, I'm in need of preparing my mind as well. So, prayers are appreciated.
How You Can WIN
OK, so here's how you can win your own free copy of Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst. Leave a comment on today's post and tell me something new you're going to learn...this week...this month...or over this summer. One commenter will win a free copy of Lysa's New York Times Bestseller!
Discussion Questions for Chapter 13
1. What are the unspoken truths about food at your church or in your circle of Christian friends? In terms of how they eat and relate to food, is your Christian community an asset or a liability to your healthy eating goals?
Jill's answer: I'm glad I attend a church that doesn't condone gluttony. Every New Year we begin with a 21-day fast to encourage all of us to give up dependence on food or anything else that may be coming between us and Jesus. So, that's always a challenge and encouragement on this road to healthy. When my girlfriends get together it can be different. We love to eat and chat and eat and chat and eat some more. It's funny how you can throw all healthy guidelines out the window once the kids are in bed or safe with hubby/babysitter and just go to town on some nachos, cookies, brownies, or whatever. And my friends know how to make some yummy stuff. My friend Tasha follows the Pioneer Woman and is all about real, healthy ingredients. But man is it the stuff that diets die by. Cinammon rolls, fruit bars, brownies, homemade fudge sauce. Nothing artificial in Tasha's cooking. Nothing low fat, usually, either.
A. She doesn't need it.
B. Her philosophy about food is completely different (and much better) than mine.
C. She can have one portion-controlled serving and walk away. Me...not so much!
So, I actually had to hide her in my newsfeed on Facebook for a while because of all the yummy stuff she would post almost daily. She's always sharing a peek at the latest scrumptious concoction coming from her oven. So, now I'm challenged to actually have more face-to-face contact with this girlfriend which is turning out to be a little tough, but I'm determined to make it happen!
2. Gluttony of any kind - food, alcohol, drugs, sex - could be described as a desperate attempt to silence the cries of a hungry soul. Have you ever thought of overeating in this way, as an attempt to silence your hungry soul? How might this perspective help you gain new insights about your battles with food?
Jill's answer: TOTALLY it comes from a desire to fill some void in my life. I absolutely know that I desire that full, satisfied feeling as if it might make everything else in life better. It doesn't. It just causes me to head back to Old Navy for another new pair of jeans because the last ones are actually painful to wear. Ugh! Praying, spending time reading the Bible, singing songs to Jesus, exercising and reading memory verses to myself from a note card...EVERY TIME these things help the cravings go away. If I could just remember the next time the cravings rear their ugly little heads!
3. If your soul is like a ravenous vacuum cleaner, what kinds of things has it sucked up over the years in its longing to be filled?
Jill's answer: Attention, food, recognition, physical affection, 100's of wasted hours in front of the TV, oh the list could go on and on. It's a really good thing I'm not much of a shopper because my family could be in serious financial trouble!
4. Lysa uses the Exodus story to demonstrate how God taught His people to depend on Him by giving them just what they needed each day. In what ways might this story be an encouragement to you? Are you in the habit of depending on God for what you need each day - to be your daily portion of companionship, provision, strength? What "manna" do you long for most from God?
Jill's answer: It might sound crazy but there have been times when I've wished for someone to control my portions for me much like God did in the story from Exodus. Sometimes I think if I had no access to food beside perfectly balanced and portioned meals that someone else provided and delivered to me...I'd have no problem, right? Well, now that I'm reminded of the Israelites and their grumbling and complaining and discontent, I realize I wouldn't last long in that "ideal" situation before I'd start whining a little myself. Like the Israelites, I can so easily become discontent with what I already have in so many areas of life. Often it involves achievement, acceptance, and significance. I mostly need to receive my daily "manna" of self-worth and value straight from God!
5. Have there been times in your life when you struggled because you didn't have what you needed? How might these experiences of deprivation impact your ability to trust that God can give you what you need each day to deal with food?
Jill's answer: When I was in high school my mom, younger brother, and I moved a lot. She was a newly single Mom of teenagers that she wanted to keep in their current school no matter what kind of sacrifice it meant for her. So, we would move into one place, live there six months or so, and have to move again because the rent was just too high and my Mom couldn't keep up. I had no money for new clothes or going out with my friends. So, I worked part-time jobs to be able to afford the things I wanted outside of food and shelter and MANY school activities that my Mom somehow was able to fund. Talk about a giving woman...that's my Mom! But, instead of trusting God to provide and being happy with a few pairs of pants and four or five tops, I wanted to fit in with my friends and went about making it happen myself. I often wonder what lessons I would have learned if I'd given some of that money to my Mom to help with her expenses. Or, simply saved for college and beyond? But, no, I was a teenager whose mind was on important matters like social status in a small city high school. And, I think I still struggle with trusting God to provide. Now I simply turn to food instead of trendy clothes. (Can't wear those right now anyway!)
6. "For He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things" ~ Psalm 107:9 How do you respond to this promise? If you could ask God for one good thing that would help you to feel a deep and soul-filling satisfaction, what would it be?
Jill's answer: I LOVE THAT! This is going to be my mantra for the next week or so. He satisfies the thirsty. He fills the hungry with good things! That is so speaking my language. I guess what I would ask God for is to find peace and contentment in Him and Him alone. It's so easy to find it in food, in being a Mommy, in doing a good job at work, in so many things! True satisfaction only comes when I find everything first in God. It's a daily battle. No, it's a minute-ly battle! But, it's so worth it to draw closer to the One who created me to crave in the first place!
OK, you're up! Please add your thoughts to this discussion. And, don't forget to tell me that new thing you're going to learn or try this week, this month, or this summer! You could win your own copy of Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst. I'll post the winner on Wednesday. Thanks, FABULOUS friends!
Friday, May 13, 2011
FABULOUS loves to laugh and learn!
“Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death.” Albert Einstein
The other night we asked our daughter what was the worst part of her day and she surprised us by saying, "School. It's so BORING!" Jeremy and I both turned and said in unison, "REALLY?" I was pretty sure our mischievous five-year-old was being, well, mischievous, but I had to be sure. "Really, Alyssa? It's boring to play with your friends and learn new things?" Her little nose crinkled and her eyes sparkled. "I'm just kidding," she squealed. "I love school. It's so much fun! What do you think?" Jeremy and I sighed with relief and laughed at our girl's attempt at a joke. And, somewhere in the back of my mind I made a mental note that another thing kids do better than adults is they have fun learning!
In fact, the reason kids love to learn is because for them learning is usually fun. And that's when I had the AHA moment. The reason I get all these good ideas to learn something new and then fail is because I fail to make it fun (or I just don't have the skill set...but MOST times it's the lack of fun).
Today I'm taking a break from the weight loss journey to remember another very important aspect of becoming FABULOUS. We've covered Fiercely following God, Absolutely cherishing our families, Believing we can make an impact on the world (and making it), and Understanding that healthy habits are crucial (that's the biggie we've been spending so much time on lately)! And, it's easy to stop there. Those can seem to be the majors, the areas that really need covered. But, the FABULOUS woman also Loves to laugh and learn.
There's always a time for just kicking back and having a good time with your spouse or on a night out with the girls. Nobody's learning a new skill or honing a talent, everybody's just having fun. We need times like that! But, I think we already see the need for some good old honest FUN. So, I want to focus on the fact that learning can be a lot of fun, too. Taking a painting class with a friend, dancing lessons with your hubby/boyfriend, or sitting in a room full of other ladies trying to learn to knit can be a source of laughter, sweet chaos, and extreme hilarity. All while you're stimulating your brain and beginning to grasp a new ability. And it's so good for us both now AND later!
Learning something new can help us have a feeling of accomplishment that, especially if we have kids in the house, might be missing in our daily lives. It also encourages our kids to continue finding the joy in learning. And the pros continue as we age. According to About.com, a web site devoted to senior living, continuing to learn as we get older provides all kinds of benefits including keeping our minds sharp, improving memory, saving money as we learn to do things on our own, and providing a new interest that we can share with family and friends.
Oh, I almost forgot one of my favorite things to learn about while having fun with friends...the Bible! Being part of a weekly study group keeps me on track with reading my Bible and praying. And, we have so much fun talking about what we covered that week that sometimes we forget it's a study group. We also have those moments when we get really vulnerable and open up some secret part of ourselves to each other. But, I don't think those would happen if the fun times hadn't bonded us in the first place.
I think I'm going to learn something new next week. Some friends have invited me to a get together on couponing and boy do I have a lot to learn there! Saving money for my family will be a huge benefit from this new skill but I think there will be some laughs along the way as well.
What new thing will you learn this next week? A new language? Yoga? A memory verse? Tell me about it. And have a FABULOUS weekend!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Goal For Today
What are you doing to take a bite out of temptation today?
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Having a Tough Time
OK, I'm really struggling this week, not gonna lie! (Why is that a thing we say these days? Why would I lie to you in the first place? Anywho...) This is a TOUGH week. The funny thing is, it's not because of stress really. I think it's more of a hormonal thing. No, I KNOW it's a hormonal thing. I wonder if Eve had never tasted that apple (or pomegranate, whatever it was)...would we still have the pain and mood swings and sudden weight gain because of water retention? Hmmm...well, no sense dwelling on what can't be changed. I just have to get through tomorrow without having a MAJOR binge. I feel like I'm holding on by a thread, here. Ever feel that way? If you're a woman, of course you have! So, WHEN you feel this way...what do you do? Do you give in and splurge a little...do you drown your cravings with water...exercise more even though you feel like you can't move? I need some inspiration. Maybe someone else does as well. Whatcha got? (And, thanks!)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)