Thursday, August 5, 2010

It wasn't supposed to be like this...

About two months ago I celebrated my 40th birthday and, let's just say this wasn't the way I'd imagined it.

Wait, I should back up. Just so I'm clear, I'm not talking about the party. The party was absolutely PERFECT. My sweet husband put together a surprise bash full of friends, family, food, fun, and all the other good things you'd expect at a milestone celebration. I cried at the video he and my mother lovingly worked long hours to create. I laughed at all the special words of "tribute" spoken by friends who knew just enough about me to be dangerous and yet were there to point out the funny rather than the negative. The day was everything I could have wished for. I still smile every time I remember all the people I love gathered in one room to acknowledge the achievement of FOUR DECADES on this earth and to pray for at least four more. It was an incredible party.

So, no, when I say this wasn't the way I'd imagined it I'm definitely NOT talking about the party. I'm talking about...well...me! I didn't imagine myself this way. Thinking back to those young, exciting years of anticipation; back all the way to High School and then into College when I saw my future just beginning to unfold; all those times I wistfully tried to imagine where I'd be in 10 years, in 20 years, I never once imagined that it would include being 60 pounds overweight, settling for a whole lot of blah blah blah, and feeling like there's so much MORE I could be doing with my life. Yes, I do my best at being a good Mommy, a loving wife, and a dedicated, authentic radio host. But, isn't there more to life than this? Shouldn't I be pursuing more? I mean, has it really come down to getting super excited about a new episode of "Last Comic Standing" and hoping my daughter will stay in bed so my husband and I can watch and laugh in peace? Seriously? This is my so-called life?

OK, before you get too frustrated and move on to the next offering in the blog-o-sphere, I should acknowledge that I have SO much. A fun spouse, an adorable daughter, a cozy home, a great job. I have nothing to complain about and I'm definitely not looking to blame anyone for the position I find myself in emotionally, physically, or any other "ally". I'm just ready for...MORE! I'm tired of being fat, frumpy, flat, and all too familiar. I've realized that I have resigned myself to an average, typical life and that's not what I signed up for. But, I think I have also realized that just realizing this isn't enough. I have to stop the humdrum...I have to take action against the so-so...I have to stand up and fight the everyday...I have to make the change.

So, that's what this blog is all about. Fighting the familiar and beginning the journey toward the FABULOUS. What does that look like?

FABULOUS looks like a fit, healthy woman who serves her God, her family, AND her community. But, it's more than that. FABULOUS looks like a woman who takes care regarding not only her physical appearance but also the state of her heart. A woman who opts for the extraordinary over the ordinary...A woman who takes risks instead of naps...A woman who LIVES life instead of just getting through the day.

So, how do I shed the frumpy-ness and achieve fabulous-ness? Well, first I should probably stop making up words like frumpy-ness and fabulous-ness. But, other than that, how do I make a change now, so late in the game? PLEASE TELL ME IT'S NOT TOO LATE! Please tell me it's not time to accept the roly-poly me, to make peace with the unexciting. NO. I refuse to believe that lie.

I believe I can make an impact on my little corner of the world. I believe I can get healthy and once again be happy with the image that faces me every morning as I peer into my mirror desperately trying not to notice exactly how lumpy I've become. I believe I can inspire my daughter to even greater things than I'd ever imagined way back in those wistful years. It begins here.

My journey starts today. It starts with getting onto a healthy eating plan, finding time to workout everyday or at least several times a week. But, it doesn't end there. It also means finding ways to serve rather than to be served. Stepping outside of my comfort zone a little more often than I step into my air conditioned home and well-worn flip flops. Because becoming FABULOUS means a total transformation inside and out.

Have you ever come to a point in life where you wonder exactly how and when you became the woman you are right at this very moment? Have you ever wanted to stop the madness and call for a do-over? Well, let's do it over...together. I'll blog about my daily choices for FABULOUS rather than familiar. You can let me know all the ways I could be doing even better when you comment. And, who knows? We may even have some fun along the way!

9 comments:

  1. Jill, I am so excited to be the first coment on here!!! Hahaha! But I want to just submitt one thing to you. I se you as fabulous already. I would have never ever imagined you had this on your heart. To me, a single mom of three kids that are six and under, who is divorced and on unemployment, you sound like you have it all!! I love your radio show and love seeing you at garners after church when I get there, when you are around you ligt up the rom! I struggle with a poor self image, so I prefer to describe myself as flabulous when I look in a miror. Twins wil do that to a person! Lol! But it is so great to see that this is on your heart because it means that you are nearing a spiritual breakthrough! I am thrilled that I will get to know and possibly participate in this, and you will be unstoppable in whatever path you choose because your path wil be lit by God! I am so excited to see what comes of this but wanted to tell you first and foremost that even if you do nothing, you are already fabulous! Let that comment give you some extra confidence to make your next step to fabulousness that is real to you!! Love!!! Your sister in Christ, Amber Selman

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  2. Hey Jill...it's Sam from Proverbs 31. So love your posts and can't wait to see what's to come! I'm sure it'll be nothing short of fabulous and fun!!

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  3. Jill...I love you just the way you are!! Let's get fit and fabulous at fourty together!!!

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  4. Jill, I love you just the way you are. I can sense that God uses you through your radio show & in your every day life. People love you. It's our imperfections that make us fabulous, not our perfection. As Francesca says, "Perfection is my enemy". Others are not attracted to perfection. In fact, it repels people. It's others seeing you remain faithful through your struggles that makes you beautiful.

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  5. Hi Jill, Great post! I especially like your description of FABULOUS, "A woman who takes risks instead of naps." I just turned 40 too, and I've been reflecting a lot lately about the state of my life. I've been in survival mode for too long; I want to work harder with a better attitude at the tasks God has given me to do. Thank you for the encouragement!

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  6. Hey, Amber, Sam, Kelly, Susie, and Lisa! Thank you for your kind and encouraging words. I'm so looking forward to what God will do through this new adventure as we all strive to be FABULOUS in our own way...for HIM! Susie, I love your thoughts on perfection. I have definitely struggled with that enemy and, thankfully, have no fear or delusions of becoming perfect at any time in the near future. However, I do want to further develop the differences between being perfect and being FABULOUS. Tossing that around and hope to bring some shape to those thoughts very soon. Thanks for the impact YOU are making every day by being the very wonderfully unique individual God has created you to be. You are the best!!!

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  7. "i want to take risks instead of naps!" i don't know if you birthed that prase, but i'm using it! Love it!
    I've always had the mindset that if i want to be extraordinary, i have to do extraordinary things...in my thinking, my marriage, family, life, heart, etc.
    afterall God made me in His image; it's me that's holding me back. and quite possibly the naps can take the place of risks! LOVE IT!

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  8. Ha ha, Mila! Feel free to borrow it. If anything I say is repeat-worthy, it comes from God. So, have at it!

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  9. Hi Jill! I actually feel a little "stalker-ish" even commenting since I don't even know you (well, except from the radio, LOL) but when I found your blog via WCIC's Facebook post and read it, I just felt compelled to write. I feel like I could have posted almost the exact same words. I just turned 39 and, like you, have been thinking a lot about where I am vs. where I thought I would be. I've even made a list: 40 things to do before I turn 40 - sort of my own personal journey to "fabulous." Anyway, long comment to say thanks for the inspiration!

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