Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Hello, remember me?

My FABULOUS friend, I missed you! Don't know if you've missed me but I've been away from the blogging thing for quite a while and it's SO good to be back. I could say it was the Holidays that kept me silent. I could say it was my hectic schedule. And, I'd be correct. Partially...

I need to be honest with you, though, and say that I was going through a bit of a depression during the end of 2010. Being overwhelmed with all that I desired for my life...to be healthy...to have another child...to truly follow God fiercely...and not seeing any real movement or change in these areas started to take its toll. ESPECIALLY since I turned 40 back in June. I started thinking less of myself and getting really irritable really easily. So, I kind of withdrew from talking about those changes that I'd like to see take place in my life.

Part of what has helped me through these past few weeks has been talking with a really good Christian counselor. She's been helping me to see that it's good to want to make changes but that when that desire comes with so much self degradation and self defeat...it can only lead to depression, anger, and a hard heart. Which was pretty much where I was.

So far, the beginning of 2011 has been lighter and brighter. I've been putting less pressure on myself. I've been spending more time reading the Bible just because I want to. (I've been praying for God to put that desire on my heart and, wouldn't ya know it, He's been listening and answering!) I've been getting to the root of my emotions instead of burying them in food. (Lots of prayer for THAT, too!) So, I've been experiencing a more positive outlook lately and am looking forward to that continuing with God's help!

Another resource that's beginning to have a lot of impact on my heart and emotional well being is the new book, Made to Crave, by my good friend Lysa TerKeurst. Lysa's the President of Proverbs 31 Ministries and one of the hosts of their one-minute radio program as well as the author of several books. And, although my friendship with Lysa over the years has been fantastic, I can easily say that this book has hit me in a way none of her other  writings (as great as they are) have. I'm sure it's because it's hitting me right in the face with what I've been doing...craving food more than God over and over and over and over again! Can you relate? If so, I highly recommend this book.

So, this is the rollercoaster of a journey I've been on lately. And, while I'm starting to see an upswing, I realize that there will always be the dips and the loopdey-loops and the stomach-churning twists. However, I'm starting to enjoy the ups and downs a little more each day. How about you? Where are you on this journey toward FABULOUS? Have you given up? Are you flying high? Somewhere in between? Let's ride the coaster together! I'd love to read your story, so please leave a comment if you've been so kind to take the time to read my thoughts! LOVE to you. Oh, and as I close, I want to include a link to Lysa's controversy-stirring article recently on CNN.com. She does a great job of describing the struggle many of us who follow Chirst encounter when trying to "will" ourselves thin. Let me know what you think. And, beware, many of the comments on the original article are positive, but many are NOT. Lysa told me, "If you're going to read the comments, make sure you have your big-girl pants on!" :) Have a FABULOUS day, my friend!

http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2010/12/30/my-take-when-the-fat-girl-got-mad-at-god/?iref=allsearch

1 comment:

  1. Happy New Year Jill! It's comforting to read that the struggles we are under whether weight, or numerous other issues can be a glorious awakening to those questions that as Christians, point us to the only one who has "all the answers."
    Whether 40 or 21, or even older like myself, we are growing through trial and error. I know prayer is vital to all areas of our lives.
    I'm sending one up for you sweet friend. Thank you for sharing the good and the bad. It connects each of us and reminds us that we are not alone in our struggles.
    Blessings as you work through the very things so many of us are dealing with.
    How blessed as Christians to know whatever we face, God is right there with us holding out his arms. I try to hold on to that beautiful image everyday. If God is for you, who can be against you.

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