|Ah, the boundary issue!|
Discussion Questions for Ch 15
1. Congratulations! You've been chosen to participate in the latest reality TV show. How much would your eating change if you knew that dozens of tiny hidden cameras were strategically placed throughout your life, recording everything you ate and broadcasting it live on a local cable channel?
Jill's answer: I think my eating would change a LOT - at least until I got used to having the cameras on 24/7! :)
2. As Lysa was modifying her eating, she had to flee some temptations because her brokenness could not handle certain freedoms. What areas of brokenness in your life aren't yet capable of handling freedoms? How do you typically respond to temptations in these areas?
Jill's answer: Definitely the area of eating as well! I've been trying to give myself some freedoms for special occasions/holidays lately and I have gone COMPLETELY and TOTALLY overboard! I can't believe how easy it's been to go from my elimination eating plan to giving myself "just one" treat to throwing it all aside. The past couple weeks have been horrific and a telltale sign that I am still broken in this area and not ready for certain freedoms.
3. When it comes to boundaries with food, it's important to focus on what we can have rather than what we can't have. When you think of what you can have right now, for what three to five foods are you most grateful? How might focusing on these foods keep you from dwelling on the foods you can't have right now?
Jill's answer: I am extremely thankful for Lara bars, walnuts, salads, mini coconut ice cream fudge bars sweetened with agave, and sweet potatoes! If I can focus on these foods and the other foods I can have right now, it will really help me avoid dwelling on the the foods I can't have. When I start dwelling on those foods, I start giving myself "permission" to have just one bite here, just one handful there, just one binge...oh no! It really goes downhill quickly!
4. Lysa describes 7 healthy boundaries that are helping her on her eating adventure. For each of the boundaries listed below place a number from 1 to 10 to indicate whether the boundary feels more like a punishing restriction or a hedge of safety for you. (1 meaning all the way to the boundary feeling like a punishing restriction and 10 meaning all the way to the boundary feeling like a hedge of safety.)
God has given me power over my food choices. I hold the power - not the food. So, if I'm not supposed to eat it, I won't put it in my mouth. 7
I was made for more than being stuck in a vicious cycle of defeat. I am not made to be a victim of my poor choices. I was made to be a victorious child of God. 10
When I am struggling and considering a compromise, I will have to choose to either remove the temptation or remove myself from the situation. 5
When I'm invited to a party or another special occasion rolls around, I can find ways to celebrate that don't involve blowing my healthy eating plan. 3
Struggling with my weight isn't God's mean curse for me. Being overweight is an outside indication that internal changes are needed for my body to function properly and for me to feel well. 9
I have these boundaries in place not for restriction but to define the parameters of my freedom. My brokenness can't handle more freedom than this right now. And I'm good with that. 7
Take a moment to review your responses. What do they reveal about how you view boundaries? Which boundary feels most like a restriction? Is this something you've struggled with before? What boundary feels most like safety? How might you lean into this boundary to give you strength and confidence with the boundaries that might be harder for you to keep?
Jill's answer: It looks like I like the idea of boundaries and the freedoms they actually bring a whole lot more than actually putting the boundaries in place and living within them. I loved the thought about being a victorious child of God and realizing that being overweight is simply an outward indication that I need to make changes to feel and look better. And, apparently, I realize that healthy boundaries actually provide freedom rather than inhibit it. However, the thought of actually removing myself or a temptation when things get tough is a different story. That feels really hard. Also, finding ways to celebrate that don't involve food feels so unfair. Everyone else gets to have cake at a birthday party or wedding. Why can't I? It feels almost imprisoning in many ways. But, I think this is where my thinking needs to change in order for true freedom to be found in my relationship with food. If I don't make these changes in my thinking and in my actions, I believe I will never win this battle with weight and food issues. Much prayer and determination is needed here!
What are your thoughts? Please jump in and take this conversation to the next level. Maybe we can learn the freedom of boundaries together!