Made to Crave Mondays - Chapter 7 AND...How'd I do over the weekend?

Hello, my friends! I hope you had a FABULOUS weekend. I know I did. If you haven't read previous posts, I'll bring you up to speed. On March 21, I began a 13-week elimination diet. NO sugar, grain, gluten, or dairy for three months. However, this past weekend was my annual Mother/Daughter weekend getaway with my Mom, my sister, and three other families of Moms and Daughters that we've been getting together with at the same Bed and Breakfast for over 15 years. Every year we all look forward to getting together, catching up, and EATING! If you've never experienced a meal in an Amish home or a 7-course breakfast at the Flower Patch and Diamond House B&B in Arcola, IL...well, you just have to experience it to understand the levels of euphoria your taste buds will enjoy. I was a little nervous, to say the least, going into this past weekend. I didn't know if I could make it from Friday evening to Sunday afternoon without going off my eating plan. But...I'm very happy to report that I DID IT!

VICTORY! YES!!

Well, God really did it. I just allowed him to give me the strength! No homemade pies or piping hot baked-from-scratch rolls at Edna Mae's house on Friday night. No freshly made grape juice, angel biscuits, yummy muffins, or stuffed french toast or Belgian waffle boats with homemade whipped cream at the B&B. The only way I know this could have happened is prayer. The power that comes from prayer. So, thank you if you were one of the many praying for me. I'm so empowered by this victory...even though I haven't lost any weight from last week. That's OK. I can only imagine what would have happened had I gone off plan! So, what a great way to start a Made to Crave Monday, huh? With some GOOD news. Make sure to keep me updated on your good news with a comment on the blog post, OK? We need to cheer each other on!

So, without further ado let's dig in to Chapter 7 of Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst!

Chapter 7 Discussion Questions:

1. When she felt like she didn't measure up, Lysa says she kicked into withdrawal mode or fix-it mode. What mode do you kick into when you feel like you don't measure up? Jill's answer: Usually I kick in to eating mode in these situations. OR, I kick in to to controlling drive. I try to control everyone's behavior around me, which is always a GREAT idea, right? Ha!

2. Lysa describes how God used a passage from Isaiah to encourage her and affirm how much God wants to be in communication with us. If you could clearly hear God's words to you throughout the day, what kind of things would you hope you might hear him say? What, specifically, would you like to hear him say when you are struggling with food choices or issues related to your weight? Jill's answer: I would like to hear Him say, "You're beautiful! I love you! You are doing a great job serving Me!" When I am struggling with food choices or issues related to my weight I'd like to hear Him say, "I love you just the way you are. You are exceedingly lovely and have an inner glow that makes you even more attractive. It is not that I think you need to be a model on the cover of a magazine...but I do want to help You achieve optimum health so you can continue serving Me and being the Mom and Wife I've designed You to be. And, I will never leave You to fight this battle alone. I am here just waiting for You to call on Me!"

3. In the Bible we read that God's "divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness" ~ 2 Peter 1:3. In other words, with God's power we have everything we need to experience victory in our struggles. Do you feel you have everything you need from God in order to overcome your struggles with food? Or is this one of those truths that looks good on paper but doesn't seem to impact your everyday life? How might your relationship to food change if you could fully embrace this truth? Jill's answer: Well, you may remember that a couple of days before leaving for my weekend I experienced what I felt was failure in my eating. I had gone off the plan and eaten things I shouldn't have. Even some things I didn't really like. But, after the victory God's power enabled me to achieve this past weekend with temptation after temptation after temptation after temptation after temptation presenting itself...I KNOW that this truth is real and applicable to my every day life. I had friends praying for me. I was praying for me. I was reminded of promises I'd been reading in the Bible of God's ability to help me and I asked for that help. Also, I planned ahead. I had contacted the B&B and asked for whatever help they could offer with my dietary needs. And, they were VERY accommodating. They provided fresh fruit with no sugar added for me to enjoy while everyone else was diving into their belgian waffle boats full of bananas and strawberries covered with a sugary glaze and freshly whipped cream. They ordered a plain baked sweet potato at the restaurant we went to on Saturday night instead of the potato salad or twice backed, cheesy potatoes all my friends were eating. At first I didn't even have the confidence to check ahead and see what could be done to enable me to stay on plan over the weekend. But, I felt a tug on my heart to contact them and I'm so glad I did. I have seen God's divine power all over the place over this past weekend! And it is honestly changing my relationship to food. I'm not saying I'll never go astray again. But, I certainly have the God-given power to stay the course!

4. "I'm a Jesus girl who can step on the scale and see the numbers as an indication of how much my body weighs and not as an indication of my worth". How do the numbers on the scale impact your self-worth? Is Lysa's statement one you can make with full confidence or is it something you aspire to but haven't quite reached? Jill's answer: It's definitely one I haven't quite reached, but absolutely aspire to. This is a tough one. Everywhere you turn a woman's worth seems to be equated with her physical appearance, including her weight. So...I'm praying to be able to one day truthfully make this statement; loud and proud. But, for now, it is a daily battler seeing my worth outside of my overall appearance!

5. What self-defeating thoughts or hurtful comments from others routinely run through your mind when it comes to food and weight? What insights and perspective do you gain when you scrutinize them with these questions: Are you true? Are you beneficial? Are you necessary? Jill's answer: I can totally scrutinize hurtful comments from others in this way in just about every area outside of physical appearance. If someone makes a hurtful comment about my skills, abilities, or my faith...I can and have been able to wave them off. Sometimes it's harder than other times. But, usually, in the end, I'm able to determine the truth and logically decide which comments to heed and which to forget. The same is true with self-defeating thoughts. However, when it comes to weight and appearance...this is tough. Especially when most people you meet for the first time say, "You really don't look anything like I thought you would." Being in radio, this is a common occurrence. I know in my head that people generally assign a mental picture to someone they've only heard and never seen. I do this myself and am often surprised when I meet the person and he or she looks differently from the way I'd imagined. Maybe they're smaller, bigger, lighter, darker, a red-head instead of a brunette. It's not that I'm disappointed with how they actually look...it's just that it's different than the image my mind had conjured up for that person. But, it is very hard for my heart to remember all of this every time I work a radio station event. There have been many times I've even apologized for not being the image that my voice had created in the other person's mind. I know it's silly but I automatically assume I am much shorter, fatter, and uglier than the person or people had imagined me to be. I assume they are disappointed or even amused by how I look face to face. Even if they meant to be hurtful, and usually that's not the case, I need to ask God to help me find the truth...His truth. Even if I'm not every person's ideal beauty. I know God designed me. He thinks I'm beautiful. My husband thinks I'm beautiful. And, in my daughter's eyes right now, I'm the most beautiful woman ever. These are the truth I need to hold onto. And, I can see how Lysa's suggested questions would be really helpful at times when I'm struggling with my own thoughts or the potentially negative comments from someone else. Does it really matter that my older brother always told me he thought I was short, fat, and ugly? Of course it hurt me and left scars. But, does that make his comments true? NO! Does it really matter that a woman who came up to me at the Women's Lifestyle show in Peoria when I pregnant told me how surprised she was that I SO big, SO early? Yes, it hurt. But, no it doesn't matter what she thought. And, does it matter if I ever AM a disappointment in person to anyone who's ever heard me on the radio? It does hurt my pride. But, seriously, I know what God thinks and I know what my family thinks. And, I know these thoughts and comments are not true, beneficial, or necessary!!

Whew, these are emotionally tough questions to answer, huh? Well, it's your turn now. And, remember...I was totally open and honest with you. I really feel this is the best way for us to help each other. It's so encouraging to know we aren't alone, don't you think? So, I'd love to hear from you. Please leave a comment on this Blog Post if ya can. And, have a FABULOUS day!!!

EPIC. FAIL.

Guys, I am so discouraged and disappointed with myself. Maybe you read yesterday's post about my hard day. Well, I thought I had done so well making it through that day without going off the plan. THEN came the evening. Alyssa and I were still struggling a bit because she just isn't feeling herself. Jeremy ended up having to work late and I had to miss my weekly Bible Study. None of these things are big deals at all. But, after the day I'd already had...things were falling into place for a major stray. And, the thing is, I KNEW IT. I should have called my friend, Katie. I should have called Jeremy. I should have prayed. But, I did none of those things.
 

This is the kind of thing I say to myself after a failure. But, I'd eat this cake!

 

 

Alyssa requested Tyson Chicken Nuggets for dinner. And, I knew she wouldn't eat six of them. But, how many did I make? SIX! argh. Then, she asked for some tortilla chips. And, again, I put more in her bowl than I knew she'd eat. Well, long story short...I ended up finishing Alyssa's nuggets (probably half of them...at least!) and her chips. Then I went to put away the bag and just opened it up and ate some more. In the end I probably had 8-10 chips before I finally said, "STOP!" and closed up the bag.

Oh, man, I was doing so well. Over a week and a half and I had not strayed one little bite from the NO sugar, gluten, grain, or dairy diet. Can't say that now. And, I tell you, I was tempted at that point to just give up and eat some more. Maybe even pour myself a big glass of Coke, with lots of ice. Somehow, though, I realized at that moment I had a choice. I could continue to slide into the abyss or I could NOW call someone who would hold me accountable. I called Jeremy. He encouraged me and suggested I also call Katie. I was embarrassed. But, I knew it had to be done. So...I texted her. Yes, I texted her. Didn't even have the guts to say it out loud. When Katie got the text she called me and spoke truth to my heart. She read scripture and told me not to be embarrassed. She reminded me of how well I'd been doing and promised she wasn't going to let me throw it all away. WHY oh WHY didn't I call her before eating those nuggets?

The thing is; I don't even like Tyson nuggets. I do like chips...but I don't like the nuggets! So, why? At this point the questions, the self-blame, the shame, they're all useless. What I need to do is get back on the wagon and determine to learn from this mistake.

What have I learned? To call for help BEFORE eating those unhealthy foods. To pray. To read words from the Bible that will give me strength. And to NOT GIVE UP, even when I've messed up. And, so far today, I'm back on track. I carefully measured my almonds, walnuts, and raisins for breakfast and I feel have a renewed determination. But, I'm also aware of the fact that there are going to be times when it seems impossible to refuse those temptations. I can't do this relying on my own strength...obviously. So, I need to keep those tools in place that will keep me on the right path.

Now, I know that misery loves company. And, believe me, I don't ask this just to make myself feel better. But, can you tell me about a time when you failed in this area and how you handled it? I'm sure someone else could benefit from reading your encouragement. And, I KNOW I will! Thanks so much and I'm glad I finally got this post out. I've been putting it off all morning. I just didn't want to tell you all about my failure. So, thanks for hearing me out and loving me anyway! LOVE to you!!!

Hard Day

Friends, today's been tough. I know...whiner! But, I just need some support. It's been ONE OF THOSE DAYS! It all started with a miscommunication between Jeremy and me. It continued with another miscommunication. Then, later in the day, Alyssa had a blow out. No, I'm not talking about a baby blowout. I'm talking about a five-year-old blowout. The poor thing was going for the toilet and just didn't make it. I believe she's having a side affect from the new antibiotic. Anywho, after wiping her off, carrying her up to the bathtub, showering her off, cleaning the bathtub, getting her into a bubble bath, and then tackling the huge mess left behind...I was worn out! But, the day wasn't over. Alyssa proceeded to demand that she didn't want to go to child care and we had to work through that for about 45 minutes. Then, I was faced with a situation with some friends that left me feeling kind of cast aside. It hasn't been the best day ever. And, boy, I tell ya the old cravings for chips, french fries, ANYTHING greasy and salty have been banging quite loudly on the door of my heart. Why is it that when I'm stressed food always seems to be the answer? Even after cleaning up that mess earlier?! Well, I didn't swing through a drive-through on the way to work. I seriously wanted to. But, I didn't. However, I did look for something that would allow me to feel like I was making a bad choice. What could I choose. Ah!! We had sodas left from Sharathon a couple weeks ago. So, yes, I went for my first Diet Pepsi since beginning my new eating plan. No sugar, grains, gluten, or dairy! But, I know, it's not good for me either! So, there was my compromise. ARGH! Why is this so hard? Oh, how I need to remember this: The world and its desires are passing away. But those who do what God wants them to do live forever. ~ 1 Jn 2:17

OK, friends...is this normal? (Not for the faint of heart)

I'm starting week two of my healthy eating plan. NO sugar, grains, gluten, or dairy. And, well, let's just say...things are running a little too smoothly and A LOT! Is this normal? Last night I probably spent two hours in the restroom. My stays in there seemed to get longer and longer, too. I was a little afraid that I'd dehydrate right there on the toilet. (I know - YUCK- that's the most detail I'll go into, I promise!) So, my question is...have you done an eating plan similar to mine? AND, did you experience a period like this as well? It's been a few days with last night being the worst so far. Is it all the fruit? Am I expelling toxins that my body had been holding on to? If you know...please fill me in. THANK YOU. And now...back to regular life and potty-free conversation. :)

Made to Crave Mondays - Chapter 6

Let's Discuss Chapter 6

Hello, friend! Thanks for traveling with me on this journey! We're hyper-focusing lately on the fact that the FABULOUS woman Believes Healthy Habits are Crucial! Why so many weeks devoted to this one facet? BECAUSE IT'S SO HARD TO GET THERE!!! I think healthy habits are crucial. I think it's good to put food in my body that will fuel it in the proper way and to move my body on a regular basis. But, if I truly believe it...then my lifestyle will change. Honestly, I've been struggling in this area big time. And, I've found I absolutely 100% cannot do it on my own. I need help! So, I've been very thankful for the latest book by my friend Lysa TerKeurst, the President of Proverbs 31 Ministries. This New York Times bestseller has been kicking me in the tush...in a good way. I hope it's been doing the same for you. And, I'm really looking forward to what you have to say as we dive in to the reflection questions for this next chapter. Please join in on the discussion. If you haven't read chapter 6, that's OK. Heck, if you don't even have the book yet...you will definitely have something to add to this conversation. And, who knows, you may say the one thing that will be THE ONE THING someone needs to hear this week. And, that someone will probably be me. So, without further ado...let's get to it!

Discussion Questions for Chapter 6

1. What is your response to the idea that we grow closer to God when we deny ourselves something that is permissible but not beneficial? Have you ever had an experience of denying yourself that helped you to grow closer to God? Do you believe this could be true for you in your battle with food? Jill's answer: I totally agree with this. When we give up something that we've relied on, we find that we have to rely on God more in order to go without the thing we've let go of. As we rely on Him more, we're drawn more into Who He is and drawn closer to Him in general. When I was living on my own as a single woman, I sold my TV and lived for about 8 months w/o television. Well, I did go to a friend's apartment on Thursday nights for Seinfeld and Friends, but the other six days of the week, I was TV free. And, whoa, did I find myself with a LOT of free time. So, I read my Bible, prayed, listened to classical radio, and checked out inspirational tapes from the library. As I lived this way I noticed big changes in almost every area of my life. I was spending less money, eating out less, reading more, exercising more, and worrying less about my self image, the way I looked and the clothes I wore. Without TV influencing my actions in all of these areas, it was incredible to see the changes in my life! The most important difference was in the depth of my relationship with God. So, yes, I do believe this could be true in my battle with food. In fact, I'm expecting it!

2. The apostle Paul lists self-control among the fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22). Are there areas of life in which you experience self-control and feel that your self-discipline and wise choices honor God? For example, in your spending decisions or how you manage your time? What insights about your strengths in this area might help you to honor God and grow in self-control with your food choices? Jill's answer: I think the area of my own life in which I experience self-control in is parenting my 5-year-old daughter. I pray every day for patience and grace and I love experiencing the ability to exhibit self-control even in those few moments of the day when my last nerve has been stepped on and I want to let loose and scream. That is God's spirit at work, that is for sure! So, of course praying for strength and power to make right choices with food has been giving me a lot of help with self-control in this area too. I have a long way to go, but it is already making a difference every day!
 
3. Have you ever had the experience of the Holy Spirit nudging you in connection with your food choices? If so, what was that like? If not, how do you hope the Holy Spirit might help you now? Jill's answer: YES! I've been feeling that tug on my heart for several weeks if not a couple of months to take this drastic step that I've taken starting last Monday. This decision to go Sugar-Free, Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free and Grain-Free has been there for a while, just waiting for me to make it. I believe this has been the work of the Holy Spirit nudging me and now I believe it will also be the Holy Spirit enabling me to exercise self-control through these remaining 12 weeks.

4. As Christians, our calling - and our source of spiritual nourishment - is to do God's will and finish his work (Jn 4:34). To what degree have consuming thoughts about food impacted your ability to pursue your calling and receive spiritual nourishment? Jill's answer: Hoo boy, how long do I have to answer this one? Obviously, the hold food has had on my left has held me back in many areas. I don't believe I will be able to truly fulfill whatever work God has for me until I am at a much healthier weight and in much better health overall!

5. Would you say you are spiritually well fed, spiritually malnourished, or somewhere in between? Have you ever tried to use food to satisfy your feelings of spiritual hunger? What was the result? Jill's answer: Well, in connection with my answer to Question 1, I'd say that again, as I'm giving up something material in my food choices, I'm finding that my spiritual nourishment is improving as well. Definitely I have become quite malnourished at times and even recently. But, I'm beginning to see positive changes here as I lean on God more and more for my daily strength to travel along this path!

6. If we find certain foods impossible to walk away from, this is a clue that we are being ruled by food on some level. Are there foods you can't or won't deny yourself in order to make a healthier choice? Why are these foods especially important to you? What thoughts and feelings arise when you think about potentially giving them up? Jill's answer: There definitely have been foods I've refused to deny myself! I'm especially thinking of a special annual mother/daughter weekend I attend with my Mom and step-sister, Jill. (Yes, we have the same name!) Well, this Bed and Breakfast we go to every year has the best food ever. And, there are certain things I always look forward to. Fresh corn and fried chicken at an Amish woman's house on Friday night. Angel biscuits and pear muffins in the mornings - with lots of butter and whipped honey. (SIGH) I even entertained the thought of taking the weekend off from my fast during this year's mother/daughter weekend which is this coming weekend, by the way. But, I've decided this journey is more important than the foods I will go without in Arcola this year. Besides, it's all about seeing the friends we've grown close to for the 15+ years we've been attending this same weekend event. It's about spending time with my family and finding some downtown for my Mommy me and work me. These are the true benefits of the weekend, not the indulgent foods. Besides, I usually end up spending a lot of time in the restroom because of the rich foods I eat way too much of anyway. So, maybe this year I'll have even more time to spend with the people who are important to me. And, knowing that these foods don't control me is so important. That God is my God, not homemade grape juice or Belgian waffles with fresh whipped cream! OK, it's not going to be easy. But, it IS going to be empowering!!!! (please pray for strength!)

So, there you have my answer for chapter 6! I am really looking forward to what you will add to this discussion. Thanks for reading my blog and for taking time to comment! And, have a FABULOUS Monday!

Just a lazy Sunday...NOT!

This is one of those Sundays where everything we'd planned for...didn't happen. I mean, does it really ever happen the way we plan it? NAH! But this one was a little more stressful than others. Alyssa, our five-year-old, went to bed last night with a 102.2 temp. She woke in the middle of the night to throw up. Jeremy sent me back to bed so I could get up for Call to Worship at the radio station. He and Alyssa went downstairs and spent the rest of the night/morning watching movies and hovering near a garbage can so she could vomit again when needed. Thankfully that only happened one other time, but her temperature has continued to be in the fever range, and as high as 102.4. Not only that, but her legs and arms were very achy as well. I think because of the fever. Looks like we'll be visiting the good old doctor's office yet again for this winter/spring season. It's been a doozy. I know we're not alone. So many friends have been through much worse. But, man, it really super stinks when your child is sick. To see them so lethargic, whiny, and wiped out can make you feel well...lethargic, whiny, and wiped out. Alyssa's resting peacefully now, but we're praying for healing and a quick recovery for her and for Mom and Dad!

But, at the end of the day, I have to say something kind of strange: I'm proud of myself and thankful for the supernatural strength God has provided in the area of my eating. I know it sounds so selfish to say this. My child is sick. Why would I be proud of myself and even concerned with eating at a time like this? BECAUSE, normally on a day like this I would have found ample reason to throw all eating rules out the window so that I could concentrate fully and solely on my child. You know how it is. When your child is sick, you're emotionally a wreck. Your only focus is making him or her feel better, whatever that entails. Normally on a day like today, I would have just grabbed whatever quick thing I could grab for myself whenever she was sleeping. I would have taken absolutely NO time to think about what's best or healthy for me, because MY CHILD IS SICK. But, today was different. I told myself it was important to continue taking care of me even as my husband and I were taking care of our daughter. And, I'm so glad I did. She's been well-loved, well-fed, well-hydrated, and now she's becoming well-rested. We'll get to the bottom of this sinus infection or whatever is hanging on after her double-strength-dose round of antibiotics last week. She's going to be just fine. And, I'm not left feeling like I have to start all over again in this sugar, grain, gluten, and dairy fast.

Oh, ho, ho, it would have been so easy to look at Jeremy and say, "You know, it's been a stressful day. Why don't you go grab some Chinese take-out while I get Alyssa ready for bed. We'll eat what we want and veg in front of the TV for a little while. We deserve it!" In fact, there were several times those words came into my mouth, found the edge of my tongue, and almost popped out. But today, I didn't speak them!

So, what's the difference? Friends are praying for me. I'M praying for me. I've been reading encouragement from the Bible and Made to Crave, by Lysa TerKeurst. And, I'm learning that food does not win over me unless I let it! Slowly, but surely, the Titanic is getting turned back around. And only I can allow it to stay on the right course this time! Well, with God's help. He's a much better cruise director than I could ever dream of being. Ah...a cruise...that sounds really nice, doesn't it? So does having my whole family healthy for more than a few days. Well, one thing at a time, right?

I hope you've had a FABULOUS weekend. And, I'd love to hear what positive changes you're seeing take place even amidst the craziness of real life. Oh, and please join me tomorrow for Made to Crave Monday!

The Weekends Seem to be Tougher...

Hello, FABULOUS friend! Just checking in to say things are still going well. In fact, without sharing TMI, things seem to be MOVING really well, if you know what I mean. I guess my body's cleaning out the old junk I was putting in it before last week? Who knows. (Sorry if that's too much of a mental picture! Let's move on.) So, anyway, it's going OK so far. But, Saturday seems to be a lot tougher than Monday through Friday. There's something about the weekend that says, "Let loose, have fun, eat what ya want!" Been there? Well, I'm praying for strength and sticking to the plan but it would be SO easy to ask my hubby and daughter if they want to go for a cheeseburger, fries, and ice cream at the Spotted Cow right about now. AAAAH! Please pray if you have a moment. And, let me know how I can pray for you. We absolutely CANNOT do this thing alone. In the meantime, I'd better go make myself a salad!