EPIC. FAIL.

Guys, I am so discouraged and disappointed with myself. Maybe you read yesterday's post about my hard day. Well, I thought I had done so well making it through that day without going off the plan. THEN came the evening. Alyssa and I were still struggling a bit because she just isn't feeling herself. Jeremy ended up having to work late and I had to miss my weekly Bible Study. None of these things are big deals at all. But, after the day I'd already had...things were falling into place for a major stray. And, the thing is, I KNEW IT. I should have called my friend, Katie. I should have called Jeremy. I should have prayed. But, I did none of those things.
 

This is the kind of thing I say to myself after a failure. But, I'd eat this cake!

 

 

Alyssa requested Tyson Chicken Nuggets for dinner. And, I knew she wouldn't eat six of them. But, how many did I make? SIX! argh. Then, she asked for some tortilla chips. And, again, I put more in her bowl than I knew she'd eat. Well, long story short...I ended up finishing Alyssa's nuggets (probably half of them...at least!) and her chips. Then I went to put away the bag and just opened it up and ate some more. In the end I probably had 8-10 chips before I finally said, "STOP!" and closed up the bag.

Oh, man, I was doing so well. Over a week and a half and I had not strayed one little bite from the NO sugar, gluten, grain, or dairy diet. Can't say that now. And, I tell you, I was tempted at that point to just give up and eat some more. Maybe even pour myself a big glass of Coke, with lots of ice. Somehow, though, I realized at that moment I had a choice. I could continue to slide into the abyss or I could NOW call someone who would hold me accountable. I called Jeremy. He encouraged me and suggested I also call Katie. I was embarrassed. But, I knew it had to be done. So...I texted her. Yes, I texted her. Didn't even have the guts to say it out loud. When Katie got the text she called me and spoke truth to my heart. She read scripture and told me not to be embarrassed. She reminded me of how well I'd been doing and promised she wasn't going to let me throw it all away. WHY oh WHY didn't I call her before eating those nuggets?

The thing is; I don't even like Tyson nuggets. I do like chips...but I don't like the nuggets! So, why? At this point the questions, the self-blame, the shame, they're all useless. What I need to do is get back on the wagon and determine to learn from this mistake.

What have I learned? To call for help BEFORE eating those unhealthy foods. To pray. To read words from the Bible that will give me strength. And to NOT GIVE UP, even when I've messed up. And, so far today, I'm back on track. I carefully measured my almonds, walnuts, and raisins for breakfast and I feel have a renewed determination. But, I'm also aware of the fact that there are going to be times when it seems impossible to refuse those temptations. I can't do this relying on my own strength...obviously. So, I need to keep those tools in place that will keep me on the right path.

Now, I know that misery loves company. And, believe me, I don't ask this just to make myself feel better. But, can you tell me about a time when you failed in this area and how you handled it? I'm sure someone else could benefit from reading your encouragement. And, I KNOW I will! Thanks so much and I'm glad I finally got this post out. I've been putting it off all morning. I just didn't want to tell you all about my failure. So, thanks for hearing me out and loving me anyway! LOVE to you!!!