UP - Last night I attended the Peoria Area Servant Leader Awards banquet hosted by The Christian Center. I was a little nervous the night before, wondering how I would overcome temptation when it's plated right in front of me. I prayed for strength and as we got closer to the event I experienced peace. By the time we arrived I was ready for anything. Salad dressings that looked delectable? Not a problem. I ate my salad plain, with no dressing. Something I'd never even thought of doing before. And guess what? I liked it. Ate the whole thing. Desserts that looked divine and were sitting in front of us THE WHOLE TIME? Not an issue. I simply slid my German Chocolate cake over next to Jeremy's Cheesecake and he was overjoyed. BBQ sauce for the brisket that somehow just looked as if it would be both tangy and sweet at the same time? Skipped. Cheesy au-gratin potatoes that usually are my weakness? Walk in the park; Jeremy was down to his mixed veggies, which he didn't want and I was down to my potatoes which I wanted but decided I wouldn't eat. So, tacky as it sounds, we switched plates. I ate his veggies and he ate my potatoes. Talk about teamwork! And you know what? I experienced some of what Lysa TerKeurst talks about in Made to Crave. I felt empowered to make the choices that were best for my body and I made them! Besides, the reason we were there, celebrating men, women, and students in central Illinois who make a difference by being like Jesus...THAT was sweeter than any dessert imaginable!
DOWN - Got to bed late, woke up this morning feeling kind of yucky and exhausted. I knew I wouldn't make it to my workout so I had to text Katie and tell her I wouldn't be at the gym this morning. Felt ashamed. But, it is what it is.
UP - Weighed myself today and, since starting the Sugar-Free, Gluten-Free, Grain-Free, Dairy-Free Diet on Monday...I've lost THREE pounds! Yes!!! That an "up" I'm still flying on!
DOWN - Later this morning my five-year-old came to snuggle with me and, while that is always a joy beyond words, she said something that definitely touched a nerve. The sweet girl certainly didn't mean to hurt me, she was simply trying to be funny when she said, "Does your tummy hurt?" I said, "Not anymore, why?" And she said, "Then why is it so fat?" OUCH! We had a little talk about being sensitive to other peoples' feelings. I also informed her that most people with a fat tummy KNOW they have a fat tummy. They don't need it to be pointed out to them. She seemed to understand and apologized. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, so we moved on. But, honestly, deep inside, I was crushed. I know she's only a child. But, my tummy is pretty fat! It was an honest question. This is the kind of silly little thing that can become huge enough to threaten my confidence and encourage me to quit.
UP - I. AM. NOT. QUITTING.
What kind of ups and downs are you experiencing? Come on, out with it! We're in this together!!!
I just discovered your blog not long ago and today I feel compelled to let you know you are not alone! When my daughter was 5, she was sitting on the couch and I came to sit down next to her. I leaned over to put my drink on the coffee table and as I sat down, my precious, darling little sweetie said, "wow mom. You have a big bottom." I said, "you think my bottom is big?" She said, "yeah mom, it's HUGE!"
ReplyDeleteSurprisingly, it didn't bother me, because well, my behind IS big. I was able to just sort of laugh it off, but darn those 5 year olds!! :) I feel for you!!
And I'd also like to say that you are doing a great job on your eating plan! Keep it up!
Jill congratulations on the 3 pounds. It is empowering when we can with God's help stand up and take control over those things that want to control us.
ReplyDeleteWho knew it was always within us.
For me it's not the weight issue as much as the staying consistent to "healthy" eating and maintaining my weight through regular exercise.
I have found for me, exercise is best done alone. I'm a walker and runner outdoors. That walking time is also my talking with God time and laying those things I need to with him. When I start to run I put on my music and already feel a weight lifted. So it's both physical and spiritual. I could not achieve that with the distractions of a partner or in a gym.
We all have to find what works.
I'm happy you are finding that.
Blessings for more milestones to come!
I have found your blog recently, too. I love your honesty. It is refreshing. I have been through MTC and loved it.
ReplyDeleteDOWN - I am getting over a sickness that has had me down for about a week. A sore throat made it impossible to stay on my plan.
UP - I am getting back on plan now that the sore throat is gone and making better choices.
Great job!
how'bout the ol' "when are you due?" OUCH! never been pregnant, never will be. how do i graciously tell her; knowing full well anyone who makes the ghastly mistake of asking a woman who carries her weight in her "mid section" feels like a heel as soon as they get their answer. but thank goodness, i'm losing the feaux prego look with better choices as well.
ReplyDeleteyou are most definitely NOT alone, jill. thanks for your honesty!