Friday, March 25, 2011
Some ups and some downs
UP - Last night I attended the Peoria Area Servant Leader Awards banquet hosted by The Christian Center. I was a little nervous the night before, wondering how I would overcome temptation when it's plated right in front of me. I prayed for strength and as we got closer to the event I experienced peace. By the time we arrived I was ready for anything. Salad dressings that looked delectable? Not a problem. I ate my salad plain, with no dressing. Something I'd never even thought of doing before. And guess what? I liked it. Ate the whole thing. Desserts that looked divine and were sitting in front of us THE WHOLE TIME? Not an issue. I simply slid my German Chocolate cake over next to Jeremy's Cheesecake and he was overjoyed. BBQ sauce for the brisket that somehow just looked as if it would be both tangy and sweet at the same time? Skipped. Cheesy au-gratin potatoes that usually are my weakness? Walk in the park; Jeremy was down to his mixed veggies, which he didn't want and I was down to my potatoes which I wanted but decided I wouldn't eat. So, tacky as it sounds, we switched plates. I ate his veggies and he ate my potatoes. Talk about teamwork! And you know what? I experienced some of what Lysa TerKeurst talks about in Made to Crave. I felt empowered to make the choices that were best for my body and I made them! Besides, the reason we were there, celebrating men, women, and students in central Illinois who make a difference by being like Jesus...THAT was sweeter than any dessert imaginable!
DOWN - Got to bed late, woke up this morning feeling kind of yucky and exhausted. I knew I wouldn't make it to my workout so I had to text Katie and tell her I wouldn't be at the gym this morning. Felt ashamed. But, it is what it is.
UP - Weighed myself today and, since starting the Sugar-Free, Gluten-Free, Grain-Free, Dairy-Free Diet on Monday...I've lost THREE pounds! Yes!!! That an "up" I'm still flying on!
DOWN - Later this morning my five-year-old came to snuggle with me and, while that is always a joy beyond words, she said something that definitely touched a nerve. The sweet girl certainly didn't mean to hurt me, she was simply trying to be funny when she said, "Does your tummy hurt?" I said, "Not anymore, why?" And she said, "Then why is it so fat?" OUCH! We had a little talk about being sensitive to other peoples' feelings. I also informed her that most people with a fat tummy KNOW they have a fat tummy. They don't need it to be pointed out to them. She seemed to understand and apologized. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, so we moved on. But, honestly, deep inside, I was crushed. I know she's only a child. But, my tummy is pretty fat! It was an honest question. This is the kind of silly little thing that can become huge enough to threaten my confidence and encourage me to quit.
UP - I. AM. NOT. QUITTING.
What kind of ups and downs are you experiencing? Come on, out with it! We're in this together!!!